Overpriced Report Card

The Boy's fancy private pre-kindergarten kindergarten costs more than I paid for undergrad, much more. Fortunately, he will join the dirty masses next year at public school. It's a nice charter school with lots of Indian kids, but for now I'm handing over lots and lots of shoe money (to donate to the needy, of course) in the form of tuition checks.

I'll sure miss the school, particularly attending the tedious parent gatherings where we check & compare who has the biggest stick up their ass, this immediately following the automobile and vacation home pissing match.

Tomorrow is report card day, when I have to go be shown the magical academic progress my 5 year old child has made under their costly tutelage. This will be a one hour meeting with a 5 page detailed summary of how well he can stack blocks. Considering the age group and the price tag, I think it should consist of having the teacher blow sunshine up my ass about my handsome and talented boy.

This report card day has to got to go better than last year when the teacher pretty much told me that my boy was probably destined for the short bus & prison, causing me to completely wreck my manicure; bitch wouldn't recognize true brilliance if it accidentally pissed in her fishbowl (fake fish, where's the victim??). And I still gave her a box of chocolates and a gift card.

Also, it should be noted that the lice episode was at the snobby prep school, not the public school; additionally I hope that before year's end they manage to teach him that his after school board game with horses and pawns is not called chest.