Thursday, September 4, 2008

mutton done up as lamb

This is pretty much what most of the ladies at our neighborhood block party look like. The more seasoned glamor girls are cruising for a man, any man. The men in their age group are usually paired up with the chippies represented in image #2. These grandpappy men have brand new babies provided by their sparkling and perky chippies. The surly teenagers from a previous marriage are babysitting for the newborns. The unattached men are eyeballing the surly teenagers and the Polish nannies. As the evening progresses the old gals get buzzed on expensive champagne and totter around on their stilettos, a pair of which costs more that my first car (used dodge colt). The chippies resist the urge to top off everyone's drink because they were all cocktail waitresses at some point (not in any way suggesting that cocktailing is not a noble profession). Then there are a few of us that are kinda bitter because we spent all that time in school and ended up with some asshole that would have preferred a cocktail waitress.
It is probably one of the few block parties that can boast of more people in sequins than bluejeans. There was a 7 piece band and several separate little groupings who had hired caterers in case they didn't want the organic tofu pretend hotdogs and soy ice cream which was the main fare.
For the kids there was a scary ass clown who made all the little ones cry and gave all the bigger ones bad dreams.
As the evening wore on, one of the old gals tipped right off her Jimmy Choo's into the neighbor's boxwoods. I thoughtfully rescued her and allowed her to vomit into the bag intended to pick up the little fuckers poopoo. I sure hope I get into to heaven. Why do we have to work so hard to please men that look pretty much like this?


Anonymous said...

Is that your husband in the intertub?

uratuna said...

WHY YES!! Isn't he hot? wanna take him for a week?

Devorrah said...

Funny post (-: