Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Balance Restored! Eat, Pray, Love!

"EAT PRAY LOVE" Thank you lawd, ohh thank you lawdy for this magical book. Through the power of one woman's quest for spiritual and sensual balance, I'm healed! And Oprah says it's good, that's right, OPRAH. She's going to start passing out copies to homeless people soon so that they can get their sorry shit together.
See my transformation for yourself. Before, I was confused and my undergarments were chaffing and I couldn't figure out how to iron anything with pleats. Just loook at me now!! my underwires are fitted and my nuts quit itching!! All because of the magical powers of one little novel. Which, by the way, I haven't actually finished yet; the mere anticipation has been transformative.
I took a few minutes in an effort to find somebody who had something bad to say about it, but I guess nobody dares to cross The Oprah. I've had 3 patients in the last week who were reading the stupid book and proceeded to gush about it. Loosers, all of them, obviously. I'm sure they all just need proper SSRI dosing.
But really. I'm getting ready for vacation and I need some reading material, so please suggest. Thank you Dr. RL for the happy "Sarah's Key", because now I can just keep hatin' on those froggys. Please no books involving sick children, dying children, children getting rounded up by Nazi's, etc. Just something to keep me distracted from Archie Bunker, and pray pray pray that my ipod stays charged.


Anonymous said...

how about "The Throwup"?

Gia's Spot said...

HAHAHA the first photo is rather disturbing... and doesnt every woman iron while gyrating with lucite heels on a pole?