A brush with the law

Imagine my surprise when the po-po came to my office yesterday morning. I thought for sure someone had finally looked in my closet and I was going to get hauled off to the pokey. Kidding! just kidding, my closet's fine!! just a little flashback. Not kidding about Officer Friendly dropping by...serving me with PAPERS. That's right, someone is suing my ass, and unfortunately it's not Archie Bunker suing me for Dee-vorce. I'm here to tell ya that getting served in your waiting room is a bad way to start your day, very bad. It's makes the other patients a little nervous. However, when I saw the name of the "Injured Party", my blood pressure backed down from "stroke risk" to "mere annoyance" level.

This stupid drunken fucktard is like Crocs's, in that he just won't GO AWAY. Apparently, my stupid drunken fucktard patient has found a stupid drunken fucktard lawyer (not that difficult) willing to pursue this textbook case of the nuisance lawsuit, true 'dat.

It's been four years since loser man and his eau du hangover first blessed us with his oatmeal countenance. He looked like he'd awoken from a stupor in a puddle of his own vomit, shaken off the DTs, brushed himself off, noticed that he had hurt himself from falling down somewhere, somehow, and dammit, someone was gonna pay!!

That someone will turn out to be me, even if it's just a matter of time wasted. I sincerely believe we would have been fine if I had been more generous with the pain meds, but then I'd have the DEA to deal with, and frankly I think the drunken fucktard will be an easier battle.
We knew from the beginning that he wanted to sue somebody, he just hadn't settled (bad word choice) on whom it would be; maybe he was waiting to see if he'd have a memory work it's way into his consciousness of him falling in a government owned building or maybe (even better) a fall at the Walmart. I guess the blackout stayed blacked out, so his watery bloodshot eyes turned to me... I can't even bill him for the time & money I will have to waste on him, so I'll stop wasting time on him...Right Now!!
The sun is trying to shine, there are tulips blooming, my shoes today are spectacular, and I'm going to hire a gangsta to toss that douchebag's salad with a weedwhacker.