When the high temperature is less than zero it's pretty hard to drag their little asses out for that walk to school. I told them to not even think about crying because it'll only make their scrunched up little faces freeze.
Although they don't appreciate it now, I'm doing them a huge favor. I'm arming them with nuggets to lob at their own children. After today they will be able to preach that when they were little, they had to walk miles too and from school in blizzard conditions in sub-zero temps. See, it's a gift!! so stop whining already! Maybe tomorrow well discuss snotcicles.
I don't make them walk because I think it's character building, and please don't neglect that my frozen ass is out there twice as long because I have to come back home. Motherfuckin garage is still so full of shit (including a scoreboard and a giant popcorn machine--like the ones they have at the circus) that I can't even walk through there, much less park a car in there. This is winter #3 with no garage, but I hardly think about it at all!! And I NEVER GET MAD ABOUT IT!! NEVER, because all that scowling would give me wrinkles that a truckload of botox couldn't fix.
As a big surprise for Crazy McCrazy, this week I am getting an estimate on the cost of hauling all that shit away. I'm sure his screams of anguish will be heard on every continent, and I'll probably have to pack the kids up and leave town for a few days to allow him to grieve and find someone else to blame.
4 comments:
Just wait until N starts playing hockey--on the back porch. Then you'll be sorry. You could have posted that giant scoreboard the back of the house and then three our four years later after Archie got it to work (optimism) N would think it was really cool.
Except that he doesn't play hockey anymore, so it's no longer useful. But it looks really good on the back of the house. So you see what you may be giving up if you throw that away?
I think you just joined the crazy club.
maybe he could just rent the garage from you and sell popcorn out of it as a side business. That way the scoreboard could read as follows...
Home - 0
Away - Thank goodness
Splendid! I'm positive that there is a bed buried in there somewhere, and I can loan him a space heater for now.
Post a Comment