Cuisine

Just what in the hazmat hell is going on around here?? twice in one month Mr. Bunker tries his hand in the kitchen?? I'm almost as baffled by this as I am about The Boy's mammary obsession. Usually on Tuesdays (my late day) he takes his hand out of his pants long enough to pick up the phone and order a pizza. Sometimes he gets fancy and orders Chinese, and occasionally he will become inspired and assemble a meal out of leftovers. I used to try to make something in advance, then I found out that if it involved any greater complexity than heat-n-eat, it was not going to be prepared.
The Big Guido menu involved sausage and some kind of marinara or possibly afterbirth underneath a layer of grease; no telling by visual inspection. He must be getting really low on cash, like almost time to start shopping for nice roomy cardboard boxes if he's trying to conserve funds by cooking.
The kids were wary, and opted to eat only the pasta without the special homemade sauce. Even the pasta sucked, because to my knowledge there is no legitimate method for "slow cooking" pasta, and unless you stick to the instructions and cook it in boiling water as suggested on the box, it turns into some kind of tasteless mush.
THEN he begged for a review of this offense to all mankind, and being the sweet kind person that I am, I told him it was delicious, much like I told Miss H. that her playdough sculpture was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. At least she had sense enough to be mildly skeptical of this high praise.
I'm confused and concerned. I'm thinking what the hell, kill the fatted calf--the end is near.