Participation in the Valentine's day holiday should be strictly limited to those in grades 5 and under. It is fun to be in second grade and get your carefully decorated shoebox stuffed full of Spider Man and ScoobyDoo cards along with little sugar hearts.
I think adults should abstain completely from this nonsense unless, of course, it's somebody wishing to buy chocolates for me.
It's always a terrible night to go out for dinner with crappy abbreviated overpriced menus, and the shows always end up sold out. The whole concept of a romantic holiday generally serves to make many of us feel inadequate and otherwise pretty bad about our sorry selves. If you are a man, there is pressure to do something extra special, and you will most assuredly dick it up. If you're a woman, and you don't have some idiot trying to woo you, then that too is some kind of failure.
It's a foregone conclusion that my Valentine's weekend was a non-event; I am, after all married to Archie Bunker (who did manage to purchase rather than steal flowers for me this year).
I was seeking a little vicarious excitement through my unmarried friends, and they instead helped to strengthen my above stated argument, that being that this holiday needs to be dropped from the calendar, or at least undergo major revision.
My single, successful & oh so hot girlfriends' Valentine's 2009 review:
DR. P.A. the supermodel surgeon (overlooking some tiny wardrobe issues, but this is exactly why we wear scrubs): Played "Rock Band" at home until 3am, with a bowl of chips and a pack of smokes, then came to our monthly homeless clinic where we did receive a lovely card from our regulars.
DR. FK: The fabulously beautiful internist who maintains her privileges at a certain facility for the sole purpose of having a parking spot close to Barney's: Sulked around in a slightly subdued manner because she was in trouble for administering a verbal beat-down to her boo, which involved a visit from the poe-lice. Asshole just stood there and took it. Fight back you pussy! err, actually just stand there and take it like a man. SHE WAS MAD! maybe you had nothing to do with it,but hell. she was tired. Stand there and take your licks if you love her. Then buy her some shoes, and give her some Advil and coffee for her hangover.
Miss. CG: The spectacular gyne-girl P.A. who can look at coochies all day, then do a triathalon and then make banana pudding that can make one weak in one's knees: went to NYC to visit her gay friend for shopping and dining.
Where's the romance? These are my personal heros!! Do what they're doing and Fight Back!! Fuck it!! stay home and eat chocolate and sweet tart hearts. That's what I'm going to do as soon as I get those dang kids go to sleep.
3 comments:
valentines day would be much more romantic for you if you only knew how to play rock band like me.
Well, Matt and I were in San Francisco, spending the day climbing mountains overlooking the ocean and walking up and down hills. It was the best Valentine's Day.
Feel better?
well la de da Mr. Troy. I suggest you listed to the Christian Bale rant a few times & get your attitude back in the basement with the rest of us.
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