Damn whoring c**ting bitches used up all the coffee. Been in a coma all week. Withdrawal hurts.
I have begun writing several posts about my commitment to NOT participate in the Chicago marathon this year. The last time I ran Chicago, it was during the catastrophic heat wave of 2007. After a slow and painful finish, I solemnly swore that I would never do another marathon, and if I ever got sucked in again I would wear a shirt with big letters spelling "DUMBASS". This may prove embarrassing. I doubt the person witnessing my pledge will remember, she'd forget her kid's name if she didn't write it on her hand. If she does remember I'll send her a nice fruit basket & she'll politely pretend to be appeased. RIGHT?
Anyway it's not even the Chicago marathon I'm considering, I'm done with that one. This is the New York Marathon, and I'm not officially committed. Yet. Just thinking about it. Busting out the log and the watch, JUST IN CASE. But I'm not going to do it. Every time (ten times) that I have finished a marathon I say this is fucking retarded and I will never do it again. I curl up in a ball for a little bit, get some bananas and WALK AWAY forever (maybe limp away) from that mess.
The training's not so bad; I get a little scrawny looking in the high mileage weeks but that never lasts too long. It's those last 20 miles-- I mean the first 6 are all good fun. Halfway through I start feeling like I've been running for a while, by 18 I usually want an epidural, and I still have 8.2 miles to go. REEL ME IN...Someone help, send some Marlboros, quick!! Talk me down. Save my knees.
15 comments:
Face it--You are an addict. Of course this is a pretty beneficial addiction. You get to spend lots of time doing things away from Archie. You get to spend lots of time hanging out with other similarly motivated (crazy) people. For the most part it's healthy for you, so if nothing else you can outlive the fat bastard (just don't pull a Jim Fixx on us.) On top of everything else you are forced to buy more shoes on a regular basis.
After my first marathon I swore I'd never do it again. Guess who's training for another one? Yeah. That's me. Gah!
Saw a shirt that made me laugh:
-at mile 20 I wanted to die
-at mile 22 I thought I was dead
-at mile 24 I KNEW I was dead
-at mile 26 I realized I was too strong to be killed.
Junkie! It's better than crack, I keep my teefs in my head and I don't quite have the meth face except for race day. Yes having a passtime which excludes Archie is all good. If I kick before he does there is absolutely no justice in the world.
Which one are you doing Jennbird?
no!
Staying close to home for this one. Getting up the courage to do the Houston marathon (it's seriously FLAT) and maybe next year do the Marine Corps marathon in D.C. I can quit any time, really!!!!!!! :)
yea. Right.
...can I say that I never understood why people would want to run with a bunch of other sweaty people for a very long time. On top of that, also in the hot sun. Granted, I've never could muster much motivation(I'd rather read a book on the history of chocolate, or study the organ).
So, Mrs. Bunker and Jenn, how do you muster the motivation for running?
Extensive & thorough research of chocolate requires more than reading about it. Herein lies the motivation. Also, it keep me out of prison because I would probably otherwise be a widowed murder.
Also, what kind of organ? just curious.
hmmm, bet its not the church organ.
I sometimes wish I was a runner. Then I come to my senses.
Good luck though. I can appreciate the drive, willpower and determination it takes to accomplish a marathon.
Y'all Puss.. I mean Cry babies..I did 26 miles today without breakin a sweat...
OK, so it was in my car...
I draw the line at anythin over 3 miles by foot...any further than that and I'm callin a cab...
And how come they have to add the 385 yards on at the end?? 26 Miles isn't enough?? Is that a metric thing or sumthin??
Frank
26.2 was the original distance run from Marathon Greece to Athens in 490 BC. The messenger ran to heroically deliver some wartime intelligence. Then he died.
OMG, Mrs. B., I do SO love your humor! You're killing me. If you decide to give in to the addiction and run the NY, I'll come and be one of your groupies, okay? Umm...do marathon runners HAVE groupies? If not, I'll come and be one anyway.
Yeah, I am thinking about getting back into running too. I say this as I am literally licking the salt from my fingers (attempting not to get the keyboard all greasy) after I am wolfing down a lunch from McDonalds.
yes! of COURSE we have groupies. If not, we should. We like it when they bring food from McDonalds.
well, McDonald's, Burger King, Krispy Kreme, you name it, I'll provide--gotta replace all those calories & carbs you burn, right? Otherwise, there might be a serious imbalance--and we can't have that! I have to draw the line, however, at White Castle--otherwise, I might have to be running behind you towing the portajane!
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