Dees Dem and Does

With all my fancy education, I married a man who murders grammar and invents new words at will. These words are known by me as "Nictionary" words. The Nictionary includes words like "intunative", as in " women are more intunative than men." Another one that really, really annoys everyone, even if they are deaf, is "old timers" in place of Alzheimer's (" he got forgetful because he had old-timers disease"). He knows this bugs me so he says it slowly and frequently. He pronounces debris like debreeze, which was once corrected in court by a judge. He starts sentences with the word "Them", or rather "Dem". He asks me how to de-pluralize and proununciate. And THE WORST: "in the rear" for "in arrears". Honestly.

I can sit here and bitch all day about his poor grammar, but really, who's the moron here? After all, I did say yes (a few times). The clock was tickin' so loud I couldn't hear his knuckles dragging across the floor.

Also, Johnny Depp is making his movie by my office today. Looks like he's stalking me, that creep.