Good News/Bad News/ Marijuana / Surgery

• The good news: Passed the first part of the boards!
  
  The bad news: It doesn't really matter! After my check-up with buzz-kill Dr. Glaucoma, I apparently can't do surgery anyway, since my depth perception has seemingly become so poor that it's a wonder I can negotiate my way into a bar to drown my sorrows, and even then I'd probably just end up missing my yap and pouring beer into my poor wrecked eye.
  Suddenly I'm a hazard in the OR. Ive been advised to take a month off from surgery and try to get my vision back to where it's just half bad.
  It's ok, I'm kind of tired of those early mornings anyway, and scrubs have never really flattered me. Also, I HATE starting the day by getting my hair squished into those hats.
  More good news: Time for desperate measures. You know, mary jane, hooter, reefer, ganja, herb, chronic, blunts. All good til the 'ole random drug test at the hospital..."honest! It's for a medical condition!" this could be a little embarrassing.
  
  Fortunately my specialty is one in which a practitioner may prosper with or without performing surgery. The with surgery option is generally the way to prosper a bit more, well, prosperously. Since I've opted to be a part-timer on account of the whole motherhood thing, the funds generated by surgery barely offset the malpractice premiums that I need to pay in order to maintain my surgical privileges.
  It seemed that it would be worthwhile, -although a massive pain in the ass-to continue operating in order to maintain my skills so that when I do go back to full time I'll remember how to hold a drill and how to keep those soft & spoiled residents in line.
  
  Now I'm weighing the pros & cons of continuing to perform surgery, this is based upon the expectation that I will not be getting to know my new "companion dog" while my kids mock me for having my shirt on backwards when I go out begging with my tin cup.
  So:
  
  CONS
  
• Reimbursements suck, and get suckier every year. I seriously doubt that they will increase with president BHO at the helm, or that payments will increase if there is "reform". I can make more $ doing a few office procedures and not have to waste half my day drinking shitty surgery center coffee.
• Insurance companies do not want to pay for ANYTHING (except for real estate), and they try really hard not to pay via many time consuming exercises with the expectation that eventually the provider will cave in or die of old age before the claim is paid.
  
• Malpractice insurance my premium would drop by 70%, if I was non-surgical and that's a lotta shoes & Cheetos.
• Global period the "global" is the amount of time that I am required to see the patient post-operatively for NO CHARGE. It's usually 30-60 days after the surgery, and even if they come in every single day following the surgery I cannot bill them for anything, even if it's not related to the surgery. Technically you may bill for issues that are not related to the surgery, but it's an audit flag so my biller told me to just suck it up, and I do. Is anyone surprised that the global periods are getting longer??
• Complications, usually these become apparent in the wee hours of the morning, generally they can be dealt with over the phone. Treatment of these will usually fall into the "global coverage" category.
• Lawsuits. Any outcome that is perceived to be any less that 100% splendid perfection is lawsuit fodder, even if it is proven to be the fault of the patient's through conscious and deliberate non-compliance. Somebody who is not qualified to put on a bandaid then decides that a wrong has been committed, and someone who would pimp out his own mom for a buck "educates" the jury who levy the final judgment, which means that I went to school for over a decade so that my professional judgment may be scrutinized by a body of people who's sole qualification is that they are registered to vote.
  

PROS

• sounds good at class reunions