treatise on marriage

I'm still basically confounded by the workings of my fabulous & gleaming iPhone. I still can't figure out the iPod function, as I'm sure that the microphone was on when I had the headphones on, possibly treating my neighbors on the bus to bits of the Big Gay Romance that I accidentally purchased on Audible. I don't think the dirty parts were playing, but still. yeesh.
Last night I had a vivid dream that I was lunching with President Gerald Ford at the Wilderness resort in Wisconsin Dells; this while in the real world the little fuckin dog chewed up my coach wallet. If he gets the Prada bag or Chester (the mink) I'll squeeze the little bastard til his eyes bleed. mmkay?

So my conclusion on marriage is that you CAN live with someone that you don't like that much.
Things to pass on to my daughter:
1. don't marry anyone who has hit you, squeezed you leaving bruises or bounced you off walls. This cannot be overcome.
2. Do not marry a chronic philanderer. It turns you against all women, as you have to worry about your mate trying to poke them, even if they are older, fatter or really ugly. Some men will fuck anyone that is not his sister or mother, which leaves only your in-laws for female companionship.
3. Once you have had children the deal is sealed. Unless he's breaking the law or breaking lamps over you head you have to stay with him.

This is the conclusion that I have reached after 2 children, almost a decade of connubial bliss, and one divorce filing which cost as much as a trip to Paris.

I don't care what anyone says, divorce fucks the kids up, and once you have them, you must put their interest first even if you hate the hairy ball scratching slob that they so fondly call daddy.

When in doubt, reread the last paragraph 100 times and then have a nice cup of tea.