All you really need to know about parenting. The threats and bribes are actually the most practical applications, however you need the love & patience to avoid adding violence to the list.
The good parts of the day: 1. Nick is gone
2. Monk Marathon
3. Because of #1 I can enjoy #2.
The bad parts: 1. There's a fuckin dog in the house
2. I really screwed up the phones. Herein lies the story. I got an iPhone due to the fact that I am eminently cool (couldn't use it to save my sorry life, but looks good). So, last night I'm activating the phone, which seemed to go well until I discovered that I had entered Nick's number instead of mine. Now everything is one large snafu, all secondary to one erroneous keystroke. Of course my error was met with the sweet and kind understanding one could expect if the error was, like, accidentally launching a nukyler (per GWB) bomb, or maybe putting the baby in the blender instead of the bathtub.
So tomorrow, on my day off that I usually spend in a caffeine fueled domestic frenzy of laundry, grocery shopping and cooking for the week, I will instead be visiting cell phone stores and dealing with the truculent employees of such. They will be totally unsympathetic to my plight; even if I explain that my husband is a crazy asshole who would strangle me and throw me in a dumpster except that would mean he'd have to do his own laundry.
So that means I'll have to defer the domestic bullshit to Thursday, when I was planning to get my awful hair fixed. I'm soo blond I practically glow; all this after telling the overpriced colorist to tone it down. So even though I didn't think it was possible, she made it even lighter. When I commented to this effect, she clanged her many bracelets and put her impressive cleavage in my face as she combed through my alarming hair and explained that she had "changed my gold to vanilla". So it's all bad, but I really think a jury would see my side of things.
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