Tuesday, March 16, 2010

New World Order



Before
and
After



Now that Dr. P.A. is scheduled for marriage, she's at long last figured out how use hosiery for good instead of evil. Not that the white cotton gym socks weren't sexy in their own way, like, in some alternate frat-boy dirty-laundry parallel universe type of way, but look now-- You so so fancy!

Since her days of being the token fashion eyesore are apparently on the dwindle, AND we have the high-end luxe Dr. Ginger on the payroll, we're moving our show to a dazzling new office.
We've outgrown our current space and besides, Ginger's all, like, "well where's my desk" and "I need a window with a view of the park" blah blah blah.
(Maybe save some of those old gym socks P.A., just in case we ever need to muffle the Ginger)

After a few grueling months of looking at office space & listening to whining realtors, we've found our happy place. This is extremely exciting; we are now poised to take over the world.

The ink's almost dry, the deal is finally proceeding since we sort of ditched the devil's spawn realtors who were killing us slowly while they quibbled over the commission. Yes, I know times are tough, and I appreciate you learning my kid's names, Mr. Gucci shoes, but time to quit being such a giant frenulum (not the one on the tongue) already.

On the first of May we move to our new office where Dr. PA won't have to sit on my lap and Dr. Ginger will be allowed to have a chair of his very own (sorry to have to represent you with a picture of a femme, Ginger, but it's in keeping with the theme).

First Chicago, then the world!

So I'll take my current viable practice, borrow myself out for equipment, sign a long lease, mire myself in debt, then have Obamacare descend on me like a ton of bricks. YAY!

20 comments:

Gia's Spot said...

Oh congrats, Mrs B!! Let me know when the office warming party is, I have some really outstanding new shoes and no where to wear them!

Capt. Schmoe said...

Couldn't you have stayed put and had Dr. Ginger sit on your lap? I'm just sayin'...

Linnnn said...

Points for calling someone a "frenulum" and, well, "Fist Chicago?" You may be taking on a little too much there. Enlist allies for that task...

Anonymous said...

I LIKE the anklets...
umm not for ME,
the fishnets are OK....
IF YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A PROSTITUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
at least thats what my Prostitute, I mean Wife, says...
and Obamacare's gonna go down like the Columbia/Challenger....

Frank

Anonymous said...

Congratulations!!!! I even have "whore" shoes to wear,but your just too far away to come for the "office" warming party. Dang. Pat the "towel" lady!

Ann T. said...

Dear Mrs. Bunker,
Now that you have a suitable stage, I may just toddle on over with my hot pink strappy sandals and apply for that officer manager job.

Please inform Dr. Ginger I am not put off my men who dress up as Charlie's Angels. I know he and I could reach an understanding. What size shoe does he wear?

Soon presenting more 'pedestrian' accomplishments via resume,

Ann T.

Edith Bunker said...

Thanks Gia! I hadn't even thought about that part yet.
OK, so obviously for the open house I'm going to have to get some exquisite shoegear in order to not be outshone by my guests,; Frank in particular, I'm sure you sir will to be decked out to show your tattoo's to their best advantage.

Capt, Dr. Ginger's wife was starting to get all bent out of shape about the whole lap thing, no sense of humor at all, if you ask me.

Linnnn, frenulum, in my opinion, is a much underused word. Try to use it at least twice today and you will find inner peace and happiness.
honest.

Frank: you and the prosti wife ought to throw on the nastay undies and have some fun, because we are all going to be busted out, broke ass, used up begging on the street pretty soon. At least you don't have that Sallie Mae bitch all up in your business.

Pat: the towels are being smuggled out by my mother, and after an appropriate waiting period in Indiana will be shipped to you. Just thought I'd give you an update. Mr. Bunker's yet to notice that they have moved.

Ann T: I know we can all reach a happy agreement here. I'm sure this is the best news Dr. G's had all day. So what's Freud got to say about men who dress up like Charlie's Angels? Something their mother's did during childhood I expect.

Anonymous said...

mrs B you've made my day ...thank you so much, I can hardly wait.

Unknown said...

I'm wearing my running sneaks to the grand opening. Just sayin.

Ann T. said...

Dear Mrs. Bunker,
According to the Good Doctor,
it's not the clothes, but the transgression--blurring society's dictates about identity. It is fundamentally a rebellion against established society.

In Dr. G's case, however, it may actually be a way of identifying with the two sock-it-to-'em medical genius uber-babes in his office. Seeking to fit in, as it were.

If you are mean to him, it will probably wear off right away. But remember, if you are too mean, he will not give away his wardrobe to your husband.

Tell me, do they have similar shoe sizes? This could transfer your problem to a different venue. Far better for Dr. Ginger to deal with wax strips in his own bathroom than Mr. Bunker to deal with them in yours.

Now excuse me while I straighten my necktie,
Ann T.

McFred said...

I like tits.

CholeraJoe said...

I like Piloti driving shoes. I have several pairs. They are extremely comfortable and Danica Patrick wears them when she comes over after the Indy 500 to do shots and ravage my body!

Anonymous said...

Well, I was going to stay out of this one, but I just had to respond! Yes, my name is Dr. Ginger and yes, I am a little "Luxe" and yes, I work in a hostile estrogen laiden medical environment; but I will always be glad to get your coffee Mrs. Bunker even if I have to sit on a lap or two! Now, about that view of the Mill. Park.......Oh, and Dr. PA is very en Vogue these days if we could just get her to get a good manicure!! Well, baby steps...Furthermore, I think we need to change the name of the practice to Charlie's Angels Clinic (considering my Christian name is Charles!) And for those who want to know my shoe size....best to leave somethings to the imagination,,,!

Anonymous said...

Dr. Ginger,

I just need you to send a nice shirtless photo to me, Gia, and peedee.

Thank you.

-SCRN

Unknown said...

Oh Yessssssssssssssss, send the pic Dr. Ginger!!! I'm guessin size 13 feet. I have high expectations. ;)

Ann T. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Oh, one more thing Dr. Ginger... could you be so kind to send one more photo to Dr. Frank Drackman? Just send it with a little note that says to use it on Wednesday (he'll know what you are talking about).

Thanks again

-SCRN

CholeraJoe said...

Hey Mrs. B! Piloti makes driving shoes in men's sizes and styles. Danica wears women's size six, anyway. No way could I get my 9 1/2 D feet in them.

Oh and Pee Dee, it's not true what they say about men with big feet.

Footwear Jones said...

I like the shoes in the first pic better. They look comfy and... functional! If I'm not badly mistaken the sock is a Champion brand, just the ones I sport. Strangely, we boys don't care that much what goes on your feet. You girls dress for each other, near as I can figure.

If any of you womenfolk have an earnest desire to participate in parsimonious relationships with your man (???), I'll tell you a secret: It's a PITA to go anywhere with a woman who is hobbling around in heels.

Unknown said...

Ok CJ, 9 1/2 works for me.