No, its not SADS like "Seasonal Affective Disorder Syndrome", that's for pussies. And no, it's not "Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome", that's for stiffs. It's just SADS because that's what happens when you get through January and February and your fuckin' whiskey's still all frozed up. It's hard to drown your sorrows when you can't get the good stuff outa the bottle. On the bright side, it makes for a good weapon just in case someone might want to give one's deadbeat spouse an affectionate tap on his skull. Probably just as effective as that prison trick I learned involving a sock and some pennies, never discount intelligence gleaned from those prison bitches!Anyway, I have determined that part of living in the great north is leaving for a week or so around this time of year. It is important to see the sun, otherwise you will start eating the paint off the walls while watching some crap like "Judge Judy" while clad in garments made of way too much elastic and velor.
So it's time to beg steal or borrow my way to someplace where the sun shines for more than 16 minutes a week.
Now one of the problems is that since my sandals and little halter dresses have been packed away for like, one million years, my pedicure is a little ragged. It's going to take a little grooming on a few counts for me to be "beach ready", know what I'm sayin?
Dear Dr. Divine Empress FK, are you finding the green more pleasing?
12 comments:
Oh Edith, out of all the messes you have shown here I find this to be the worst. I don't know why but I gagged upon seeing this!! Do you need some donations for some laser treatments?
Happy pedicuring!!
Gia
I'm so glad your back .....I was worrying that something terrible was wrong. Missed your "funnyness". Pat the towel lady!
Sorry Gia! but you know, I do take great pride in my collection of revolting & tasteless photos.
Thank you Pat! It's good to be back & feel like I'm getting my head back above water.
Hey! Y'all can come to Atlanta...I'll get the Slave's I mean Servants quarters all cleaned up for ya...
Frank
P.S. Can you bring your Snow Blower?
Dont even say you were in the fine hanging chad state of Flo-rida. Dont. Lie if you were.
Glad your batteries are recharged. And get a bitch a razor. Ugh!!
A photo even more disturbing than the fuzzy decollete. (how I love that word)
At least she keeps it brushed.
oh and I LIKE the Green better!!
I'm pleased that I've helped to broaden your horizons, Capt. It's always good to have fancy words to toss about.
Peedee: believe me, if we were headed to FL you'd know about it. GOING TO HONOLULU!! Hope we're on a high floor.
Frank: Mr. Bunker's on his way with the snowplow. He's going to stay til June, don't mess up that depo dosing now.
See, what people don't realize is it's a gal like that, with such a wonderfully-luxuriant thatch, that can keep anyone warm at night in those far-nether reaches up north.
Just let her wrap her arms around you whilst your beak is buried in her sumptuous forest.
BZ
Dear Mrs. Bunker,
I was speechless at the pic. Completely blew me away.
I must say the contrast between the green and black is easier to read, but dear Mrs. Bunker, this blog is the color of Crest toothpaste.
So glad you're back. I even begged for another post in the last post.
Ann T.
OK BV, your comment is far more disgusting than the photo. You win. bleck.
Thank you Ann! but whatcha got against Crest?
The minty green is the "spring motif" without veering into the pink pallet. One day I will figure out how to have a nice template. Or my cousin will do it for me. maybe.
oh gawd BZ!! That was a visual I could have lived without. ohmahgawd. eeeeeeeew. Whatever you do BZ DONT google 'blue waffles' and click on the first listing. I warned you.
And Hawaii Edith? WTH?? I'm going to find your kids and start sending them Disney stuff so they'll bug the shit out of you to take them back. I really need to borrow them for a few days. I need an reason to go to Disney and they'd work perfectly.
Post a Comment