Yup, I've allowed Mr. Bunker out of the house with cash money again. Damn.
Eight boxes of Bayer assburns, to which Mr. Bunker is severely allergic. In the absence of such an allergy, this stuff just serves to upset everyone else's stomach (hence it's placement on the clearance table).
Two Glade air-fresheners, "Holiday Cookie" scent; vile (see parenthetic statement above).
Three bottles of shampoo that smells like congealed vomit with tones of spoiled salmon and Limburger cheese.
One wad of napkins from the coffee shop.
The astute observer is surely now puzzled and having doubts that the Advair and Ventolin (prescription only) were found on the clearance table. Well, bully for you astute observer, they were indeed
not on the clearance table, but rather on top of the newspaper box outside the store in a radio shack bag; who
wouldn't want to get their meds off the sidewalk??? Free! Fancy That! Now we just need someone with COPD who can use it. With the savings achieved by stealing the napkins, we'll probably be able to make the mortgage. Hawk the Advair, and we'll be sittin' purdy.
Yup, I've allowed Mr. Bunker out of the house with cash money again. Damn.
16 comments:
I Bet Mr. B started off with, "Edith, yooz can yooz this stuff on somebody at work and charge 'em for it too!"
Now some poor COPD'er is without meds and gonna have a tough time getting more (or maintaining an airway) ...unless he asks for a look at outside store camera :)
Clearly you've met him.
Dear Mrs. Bunker,
Recently I had cause to look around my home and wonder just where my good taste had gone. I looked for it everywhere and just couldn't find it.
It's been swallowed up by bargains, t-shirt %5.88 at CVS by pillow $8.99 at Marshalls by mac n cheese .69 at Target.
Enough! Massive spring cleaning is in the air. Either that or the frozen Jack Black.
Speaking of Crest, I am finding my blog template too limited. I may switch and astonish you back.
Now in reform,
Cheap! Cheap! The birds of spring do call,
Send the Advil. oh, I need it.
Ann T.
If the Advair was Ambien. I would be all over it. Maybe next time.
Oops sorry Mrs. B, that first anon was me. Was making peach cobbler and the oven timer went off...
-SCRN
What exactly do you do with him on vacation?? Tell me you buy an extra piece of luggage to bring home all the booty he finds on sale in whatever paradise you visit.
I have a word for your personal shopper....."GO TO A JEWELRY STORE " check their sale table, at least you could use jewels for gifts.Your daughter would love that....Have a grand day. pat the towel lady
Mr. Bunker's allegic to Aspirin!?!?!
What a Pussy, but hey, he'll die 12.7 years sooner due to increased risk of Dick Chaney's Disease...
And take off another 10 years if you add some Protamine to his Non-Dairy Creamer, cause he's probably Lactose Intolerant too...
And did you know they make Protamine from Fish Sperm???
I din't even know Fish HAD Sperm...
I Know, he's allergic to Fish Sperm too...
I Know, just turn off his CPAP some night...
Frank
Oh, Mrs. B, your blog groupies give me the laughs! I just love them! Don't have much to say, really, except I love the green even though green isn't really my color. Enjoy Hawaii...and watch out for those waves...
The lunger must have read the Black Box warning on Advair: Long-acting beta2-adrenergic agonists, such as salmeterol, one of the active ingredients in ADVAIR DISKUS, may increase the risk of asthma-related death.
Decided to try Crack Cocaine cause it's safer.
Ann T: Please Please Please don't unload your goods anywhere in the midwest. Mr. B will find it & I'll have to add it to the hoarding posts. He sniffs things like that out.
Capt: it the advair was adderall I'd take it. I'm sleeping fine, it's the staying awake that's troubling me.
SCRN, whats with the name change?
Peedee, HELL NO. We have had some shipping episodes, but I certainly don't encourage anything by leaving dead space in the luggage. The extra charge for luggage will probably appeal to his cheap side. hope.
Pat: I LOVE that Idea. I'm sure I could convince a jewelry store owner to create a little "clearance" table just for Mr. Bunker.
Frank, I'm pretty sure it's whale sperm. So if your trapped on a dessert island and throw a clot, well...CPAP outage & allergy, I'm chipping away at the sentence.
CP: Where have you been? Thanks for visiting. Mom says Hi!
CJ: so if he has an allergic rxn to the ASA, then let him hit the advair??
Well somebody noticed :o) that I'm now also licensed to kill. Uh, nope that's not right, hmmm. I'm licensed for something that's for sure!!!
-SCRN
A hoarding post, and here I am, on cue.
Actually, I've just been really busy, looking for a job and all, finishing up my last bit of university.
Mr. Bunker is crazy, freaking crazy. And as usual, I agree with Drackman's incisive analysis.
Vodka and some other good psychotropic is usually a good combination in the cut-out bin. That's how I found free Paxil. Zoomy.
BZ
If he is that allergic to aspirin, sprinkle it over his food.
Although the ASA in the food idea has it's merits, the prison time associated is worrisome.
However, B.V., Paxil is supposed to be a good OCD helper, so maybe you could point me toward your dumpster; I could sprinkle a bit of that in his food (or crush it in the vodka) and maybe then he'd clean the damn garage.
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