It puts the patients in the rooms. It sets up office procedures and it schedules surgeries. It stocks the rooms and orders supplies. It is punctual, polite, neat and tidy. It does not steal my prescription pad or get caught humping anyone in the lab after hours. I will learn it's name and begin making eye contact with it after it has perfect attendance for three to four days.
Then she'll gain my trust, steal the money, sell the drugs and run off with Dr. Ginger. Or maybe Dr. P.A; that'd at least save me having to get her a wedding gift.
22 comments:
It puts the lotion on its body or it gets the hose....
Is it not humping anybody in the lab after hours, or has it just not been caught?
Pee Dee:
if your gonna quote movies, get it RIGHT for cryin out loud...
its: "It puts the lotion on its SKIN or else it gets the Hose again"
See, even though "Buffalo Bill" was a creepy transexual cereal killer, he could rhyme in iambic pentameter...
Frank
Capt, such a cynic!!
peedee, I found a pic of the lotion guy from the movie demonstrating his tuck, but it was just too creepy. wouldn't want to gross anyone out here.
I feel your pain. I have recently hired THREE new assistants that will start in 3-10 days. Two of my longtimers moved on to greener pastures elsewhere within the company and one is a new position to support our ever-expanding business. I'm also in the market for another nurse, but that one is moving slowly.
Fortunately all three of my new hires have good experience - 1 from the hospital, 1 from the Oncology group and 1 who had to drop out of surgical tech school because of family problems. None of them appear inclined to help themselves to money or drugs, yet.
Humping someone in the john or the breakroom remains to be seen.
Dear Mrs. Bunker,
Humping in the bathroom is nothing. Why, as a retail manager, I have stopped this any number of times.
The quick way to stop it is to go in, screaming, Where, Where, I want to see!
It's the giggles and gasps that make all that worthwhile, but Olympic judging--never.
People practicing their karate moves in the public bathroom--it depends on their performance. But in general, and especially when they're naked (true story)--we call the 9-1-1 for the white coats.
Beer drinkers get the boot and the fiery sword. Out of Eden you go. I am rough.
But people that can't file, alas, they're with us forever.
Good luck with it,
Ann T.
P.S. Frank. Iambic pentameter? Another 'foot' fetish? Mon Dieu!
right you are Frank....
Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.
Catherine Martin: Mister... my family will pay cash. Whatever ransom you're askin' for, they pay it.
Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
[to his dog, Precious]
Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: Yes, it will, Precious, won't it? It will get the hose!
Catherine Martin: Okay... okay... okay. Mister, if you let me go, I won't - I won't press charges I promise. See, my mom is a real important woman... I guess you already know that.
Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: Now it places the lotion in the basket.
Catherine Martin: Please! Please I wanna go home! I wanna go home please!
Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: It places the lotion in the basket.
Catherine Martin: I wanna see my mommy! Please I wanna see my...
Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: Put the fucking lotion in the basket!
CJ: please report back promptly if you find it necessary to have any of your fine assistants arrested or if any scandalous events occur.
Ann T.: karate in the crapper? I think that would be more disturbing that catching humpers.
IAMBIC PENTAMETER? crikey. what is the word coming to when we expect that out of our cereal killers?
peedee: just tell me you don't have the above exchange committed to memory, ok?
Dear Mrs. Bunker,
It was an odd interlude, and he was really happy . . . one never knew if the complaints were about physical threat, nakedness, or the happy smile on his face . . .
and it happened again . . .
ahhhhhhh Chinese spam!! I dare you to click the link.......
and no. obviously. ask Frank.
Cereal killers???? "It puts the Fruit Loops in the basket..."
My dear Mrs. Bunker,
You've been SPAMMED by people who regularly show other people getting it on in the bathroom.
Anyway, I figure you're either on vacation know that Nurse Lips has shown up, or
you're sitting in despair with a bottle of Bud and some ledgers.
Either way, send us some postcards, either heaven or hell, as appropriate.
Ann T.
Mrs. B! One of my new hires has quit already! It seems she didn't realize how hard the job was going to be. She wanted to sit at a desk, file her nails and take long lunch breaks.
Sorry Toots. We works hard here. We gots sick peoples up to our belly-buttons.
Shit CJ. My new hire called in sick yesterday after one week on the job. Left a message with the service instead of paging. Not a good sign.
Buffano Bill is my fwen. . .
BZ
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