Thursday, February 18, 2010

Hope springs eternal

It puts the patients in the rooms. It sets up office procedures and it schedules surgeries. It stocks the rooms and orders supplies. It is punctual, polite, neat and tidy. It does not steal my prescription pad or get caught humping anyone in the lab after hours.

I will learn it's name and begin making eye contact with it after it has perfect attendance for three to four days.

Then she'll gain my trust, steal the money, sell the drugs and run off with Dr. Ginger. Or maybe Dr. P.A; that'd at least save me having to get her a wedding gift.

22 comments:

Unknown said...

It puts the lotion on its body or it gets the hose....

Capt. Schmoe said...

Is it not humping anybody in the lab after hours, or has it just not been caught?

Anonymous said...

Pee Dee:
if your gonna quote movies, get it RIGHT for cryin out loud...

its: "It puts the lotion on its SKIN or else it gets the Hose again"

See, even though "Buffalo Bill" was a creepy transexual cereal killer, he could rhyme in iambic pentameter...

Frank

Edith Bunker said...

Capt, such a cynic!!
peedee, I found a pic of the lotion guy from the movie demonstrating his tuck, but it was just too creepy. wouldn't want to gross anyone out here.

Edith Bunker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CholeraJoe said...

I feel your pain. I have recently hired THREE new assistants that will start in 3-10 days. Two of my longtimers moved on to greener pastures elsewhere within the company and one is a new position to support our ever-expanding business. I'm also in the market for another nurse, but that one is moving slowly.

Fortunately all three of my new hires have good experience - 1 from the hospital, 1 from the Oncology group and 1 who had to drop out of surgical tech school because of family problems. None of them appear inclined to help themselves to money or drugs, yet.

Humping someone in the john or the breakroom remains to be seen.

Ann T. said...

Dear Mrs. Bunker,
Humping in the bathroom is nothing. Why, as a retail manager, I have stopped this any number of times.

The quick way to stop it is to go in, screaming, Where, Where, I want to see!

It's the giggles and gasps that make all that worthwhile, but Olympic judging--never.

People practicing their karate moves in the public bathroom--it depends on their performance. But in general, and especially when they're naked (true story)--we call the 9-1-1 for the white coats.

Beer drinkers get the boot and the fiery sword. Out of Eden you go. I am rough.

But people that can't file, alas, they're with us forever.

Good luck with it,
Ann T.

P.S. Frank. Iambic pentameter? Another 'foot' fetish? Mon Dieu!

Unknown said...

right you are Frank....

Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.

Catherine Martin: Mister... my family will pay cash. Whatever ransom you're askin' for, they pay it.

Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

[to his dog, Precious]
Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: Yes, it will, Precious, won't it? It will get the hose!

Catherine Martin: Okay... okay... okay. Mister, if you let me go, I won't - I won't press charges I promise. See, my mom is a real important woman... I guess you already know that.

Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: Now it places the lotion in the basket.

Catherine Martin: Please! Please I wanna go home! I wanna go home please!
Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: It places the lotion in the basket.

Catherine Martin: I wanna see my mommy! Please I wanna see my...

Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: Put the fucking lotion in the basket!

Edith Bunker said...

CJ: please report back promptly if you find it necessary to have any of your fine assistants arrested or if any scandalous events occur.

Ann T.: karate in the crapper? I think that would be more disturbing that catching humpers.

IAMBIC PENTAMETER? crikey. what is the word coming to when we expect that out of our cereal killers?

peedee: just tell me you don't have the above exchange committed to memory, ok?

Ann T. said...

Dear Mrs. Bunker,
It was an odd interlude, and he was really happy . . . one never knew if the complaints were about physical threat, nakedness, or the happy smile on his face . . .

and it happened again . . .

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

ahhhhhhh Chinese spam!! I dare you to click the link.......

and no. obviously. ask Frank.

Linnnn said...

Cereal killers???? "It puts the Fruit Loops in the basket..."

Ann T. said...

My dear Mrs. Bunker,
You've been SPAMMED by people who regularly show other people getting it on in the bathroom.

Anyway, I figure you're either on vacation know that Nurse Lips has shown up, or
you're sitting in despair with a bottle of Bud and some ledgers.

Either way, send us some postcards, either heaven or hell, as appropriate.

Ann T.

CholeraJoe said...

Mrs. B! One of my new hires has quit already! It seems she didn't realize how hard the job was going to be. She wanted to sit at a desk, file her nails and take long lunch breaks.

Sorry Toots. We works hard here. We gots sick peoples up to our belly-buttons.

Edith Bunker said...

Shit CJ. My new hire called in sick yesterday after one week on the job. Left a message with the service instead of paging. Not a good sign.

Bloviating Zeppelin said...

Buffano Bill is my fwen. . .

BZ

Anonymous said...

wv lottery powerball http://lwv.in/poker-online/strip-poker-our-shirts-were-off-the-girls lease casino equipment
[url=http://lwv.in/slots/multiline-slots]creating you r own bingo cards[/url] casino executive search llc [url=http://lwv.in/blackjack/blackjack-forum]blackjack forum[/url]
microsoft lottery email scam http://lwv.in/casino-playing-cards/western-saloon-playing-cards
[url=http://lwv.in/keno/online-keno-casinos-online]charles town wv casino[/url] online casino gaming craps system [url=http://lwv.in/online-casino/lumiere-place-casino]lumiere place casino[/url]
printable baby shower bingo cards http://lwv.in/betting/online-betting-calculator names of gambling games [url=http://lwv.in/keno/video-keno-30-days-free-trial]video keno 30 days free trial[/url]

Anonymous said...

fantastic four part2 movie download [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_i_wake_up_screaming/]i wake up screaming[/url] movie star panties http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_honkytonk_man/ upcoming movie sequels
movie departed dicaprio graduate [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_aladdin_and_the_king_of_thieves/]aladdin and the king of thieves[/url] blues brothers movie music http://moviestrawberry.com/countries/?page=32 cinderella movie where she visits a magic tree and has doves
chiefs and movie and heston [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_final_exam/]final exam[/url] music from friday night lights movie
free cartoon porn movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_pulse_3/]pulse 3[/url] lonesome dove movie soundtrack http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_beach_girls/ free software movie edit
uniforms in the patriot movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_two_moon_junction/]two moon junction[/url] expelled movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_legally_blonde/ leelee sobiski nude movie roles

Anonymous said...

tooth fairy horror movie review [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_wendy_wu_homecoming_warrior/]wendy wu homecoming warrior[/url] movie magnum force http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_lonely_guy/ tommie lee jones movie
pirates adult movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_sandlot/]the sandlot[/url] scary movie quizes http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_eurotrip/ the hit the movie 2007
naruto movie trailer [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_bad_eggs/]bad eggs[/url] watch full movie legends of the fall online
sweeny todd movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_monsieur_verdoux/]monsieur verdoux[/url] the brothers solomon full movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_thunder_over_reno/ top gun movie review
new movie paris [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_a_sense_of_freedom/]a sense of freedom[/url] movie secrets http://moviestrawberry.com/hqmoviesbygenres/download-genre_action-movies/?page=15 pirates of the carribean 3 watch online movie free

Anonymous said...

movie theatre jobs [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_cobra/]cobra[/url] oklahoma city movie theatres http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_honey/ mastrubation movie
flatland movie review education [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_an_extremely_goofy_movie/]an extremely goofy movie[/url] microsoft media player free porn movie clips http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_seemless/ free hairless pussy anal movie
movie listigs [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_beautiful/]beautiful[/url] anastasia movie
gay movie post [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_bill_ted_s_bogus_journey/]bill ted s bogus journey[/url] movie theatres in frederick md http://moviestrawberry.com/countries/?page=157 movie hotties
mishawaka movie times [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_night_we_called_it_a_day/]the night we called it a day[/url] movie divix codec http://moviestrawberry.com/easy-downloads/letter_L/?page=4 number 31 movie

Anonymous said...

free horror movie soundtracks [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_truant_officer_donald/]truant officer donald[/url] rob zombie new movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_blood_massacre/ download anastasia movie music
long weekend movie 2004 [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_chicken_little_70/]chicken little 70[/url] the best kung fu movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_caddyshack/ hot chocolate movie torrent link
dragon wars movie t shirt [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_killer_flick/]killer flick[/url] mr skins nude movie reviews
free full movie download beastiality [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_quickie/]the quickie[/url] what extra was sued in the new indiana jones movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_reader/ free eragon movie download
absolutely free movie download sites [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_4_rise_of_the_silver_surfer/]4 rise of the silver surfer[/url] x files movie 2 http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_jammed/ free teen movie galleries