Saturday, November 28, 2009

People of Walmart: other habitats

I'm a little blue because my dream of getting a real "People of Walmart" photo failed, so I have to turn to the family library, this never disappoints. Not that the Walmart wasn't ripe with potential (among other things), just that the picture of the fat man leaving the crapper with a big wet spot on his bum was of such poor quality it was of no use. Drat, foiled again!

I know just what you're thinking: "No no no Edith, the usual non-retail habitat will generally involve a trailer, double wide, or otherwise modular domicile." Presented here to prove you wrong is my voluptuous sister-in-law, previously known to this site as "Trashie".

Today I'm here to inform you that there are situations that can draw the creatures in question out into the daylight for a refreshing walk/forced march. There could be a body to bury (you cain't jess leave those thangs in the front porch fridge forever!), or you could still be seeking the mythical Twinkie Patch of childhood lore. Today's specific example involves getting forced to dance for one's dinner by way of required time with one's family...gotta trot the babies out if you're going to be asking for a cash donation; the need for diapers in so much more compelling that the need to keep the premium channels paid up.

In case you're trying to make it out, her shirt does say "I Love My Daughter". Your guess is as good as mine why any mother would find it necessary to broadcast this affirmation, particularity by way of tee shirt, but there you have it.

BLOG NOTE: Thanks to my family member (of whom I'm quite fond, see, it happens!) for my fabulous new banner. Although she may publicly deny visiting, the whole Plain Jane blog format thing was bugging her, talented artiste that she is.

6 comments:

Capt. Schmoe said...

Mrs. B.
As much as I hope that you are successful in all of your endeavors, I must admit I feel some relief that you were unsuccessful in your photographic pursuits at Wal-Mart.

Since the "People Of Wal-Mart" blog came on line, I have had great reluctance to enter that establishment. My fear is that someone of your considerable talent might capture me in some awkward moment such as removing dried mucous from my nostril or an attempt at relieving some minor anodermal irritation.

Worse yet would be someone with your photographic skills combined with your mastery of the written word commenting on my "Land of the Dirt People" apparel line.

Your lack of success capturing the man with the spot on his trousers leads me to believe that perhaps you may be a little too cerebral for the task which you took on. As such, it makes Wal-Mart a little safer for folks like me.

My fear now is, of course, that this post will inspire some of my midwestern relatives to capture random images of me while strolling through the woods wearing my Ted Nugent "Double Live Gonzo" T-Shirt.

I guess you can't have it all.

One last comment. Your new header is a masterpiece. I believe it shows the passion you have for your work.

Thanks for this enlightening post.

Unknown said...

Wow, thats brave of you to attempt Walmart on a holiday weekend. Very brave. But I understand, you do it for the ART.

And your new banner is effing awesome!!! I <3 Pink. She's a bitch with a message and I'm thinking you can deliver!

Edith Bunker said...

Dear Capt., I guess we're all at risk. Since the inception of the website, I'll always be nervous while shopping in my flannels during my home visits.

I would offer a friendly suggestion that you keep your hands firmly on your cart unless touching merchandise (nothing from feminine hygiene though). If you succumb to any itching or other urge & it does get caught on film, rest easy knowing that one of those little black lines will be tastefully placed over your eyes, and NOBODY will be able to make out your identity.

Additionally, that is the most kindly worded rebuff I've ever received, and for that I thank you.

peedee: WELCOME BACK!! How's that Comcast?

Unknown said...

wireless router enroute!!! wwweeeeeeeee! should have intertubes at home by the weekend!

Anonymous said...

Hey, I am checking this blog using the phone and this appears to be kind of odd. Thought you'd wish to know. This is a great write-up nevertheless, did not mess that up.

- David

Lowerywpla said...

wireless router enroute!!! wwweeeeeeeee! should have intertubes at home by the weekend!