Scary Poppins

Yup, that's Brit looking every inch the lady. She really has little to do with my topic today, but how could I resist this fine picture? I mean, who would be caught lookin' like that? soo tacky. When I was all preggy in Daisy Dukes smoking with my tattooed belly all out there I would have died before wearing boots like that; ugly and bad for your feet, not to mention the funk that develops after wearing them in a warm climate. sheesh, my eyes are so rolling.

Anyway, I've been a little busy with my favorite springtime activities; gardening, long runs, spring cleaning, and,... oh yeah the pesky FUCKING EXAMS.
One down! The first one was completely computer based in a mean & nasty testing center where I was stripped of my watch, my phone, and my LUCKY PENCIL which that rotten bastard had to pry out of my hand. This was much different from my previous experience 8 years ago, at which time it was written on paper with all victims sequestered in one big room. I had my own special proctor that time because I was 9 (nine!) months pregnant and I needed someone to escort me to go puke and make sure I wasn't developing kankles sitting there all day long. I did at least have my lucky pencil on that occasion.

Anyhow, the night before my exam of last Saturday, The Boy got very ill in the middle of the night, and has subsequently been dx'd with pneumonia (or ammonia, if you are seeing this Archie Bunker, in which case your lips are moving as you read -- thoroughly annoying). The child's convalescence is entirely jacking up my drankin' schedule, and has put the childcare hurt on me. Tuesday I was fortunate enough to have Hannah, the sweet & happy vegamatarian come play games and do ecco friendly art projects all day with the younguns (thanks Troy).


Next day, the man who throws extravagant parties at the Four Seasons and yammers on endlessly about his largess suddenly hunkers down into cheapass mode, and therefore Archie Bunker took it upon his ownself to find today's childcare provider for mah bebbies...hence, Scary Poppins.
I like to save a buck and I can pinch pennies with the best of them, these skills come honestly after so many years as a busted out student, however, having the cheapest childcare on the block has never been one of my goals. Sometimes you have to ante up because you get what you pay for. The sitter in question appeared a little dinged up, like maybe she spent the night passed out in a grocery cart; that's ok, hasn't everyone? Anyone?? Just trying not to judge... but when her second question to me was "where can I smoke?" (first question was if I was going to pay for her parking) I got a little concerned. I mean sure, when I was a teenage babysitter I used to grab a quick puff now & again after lights out, but unless the neighbors snitched or the kids got loose, nobody actually knew about it.

...So then, when you smoke ma'am, will the kids be coming with you, or will you be leaving them unattended? Is it going to be a leisurely type smoke or you gunna hot box that bad boy?

WHY ME? WHY NOW?
So anyway, I did some rearranging and made it a really short work day. Where are you, sweet Hannah? Grab that tofu and RUN over here. Please.