A full official decade of the ball(s) and chain has come to pass...yes, our 10 year wedding anniversary was this weekend.
Seems as though we share our anniversary with another happily-wed-for-a-decade couple, namely John & Kate Gosselin. It looks as if they may be beating us to the lawyer's office; they have a major announcement tomorrow. The interwebs' assumption is that the announcement will be "splitsville" whereupon Kate will return to John his shriveled manhood as well as relinquish her hard earned title of "Grand Empress Supreme Bitch Wife"; next to her I'm positively loving and affectionate toward Archie Bunker. Hopefully, once freed from the bonds of marriage, they can really get down and dirty and fight publicly about which hair strategy is worse: reverse mullet or weird transplant-hair plugs. Meanwhile, their brood can go work in a 3rd world sweat shop where they will be exploited to a somewhat lesser extent than that which is allowed by their parents.
Alternatively, they could just be toying with us & the real announcement is that Kate is knocked up with another litter, this news delivered as she sits in John's lap nuzzling his neck and asking if she can rub his feet.
But back to the important news of MY anniversary.
I felt an obligation to get Mr. Bunker a card. Ideally it would have said something like "Thanks for the health insurance and the babies, please clean up the garage and then see if you can't find yourself a nice goomah".
Unfortunately, when I got to Walgreen's there were exactly two anniversary cards from which to choose. One contained seriously sappy drivel with endless yammering about soulmates. The other option was en Español. Which to buy?? I squandered a valuable 15 minutes of my life torn and undecided. Finally I got the lugubrious English card because who knows, the Spanish one could have been carrying on with the same crap and then I would suffer embarrassment upon translation by a third party. Painful.
6 days to boards. Dayum, get it over with already.
6 comments:
You mean your Husband doesn't serenade you in public to Journey songs???? Should have married a Southern Man...
Frank
Mrs Bunker, my sincerest condolences
on your ten year claim to bondage. Just remember life is going by really fast so not long before Boy and Girl are out and Archie with them! (Course they will only be leaving for school or to further their life experiences whereas Archie will be lucky to NOT be under 6 feet of Northern terra firma!)
And don't listen to Frank.. can you just picture Archie singing to you in front of your staff with a Southern accent? Happy day all the same! ;}
Oh Archie, will he ever change?? One can always hope...maybe he'll have an epithany (sp?).
I guess its happy anniversary of two perfect kids and being a doc about to pass the boards. =)
My kid is perfection and its amazing since the sperm donor is one, if not the biggest loser on this earth....sometimes they're good for something.
Frank, I sincerely hope that your Journey serenade consists of "lovin touchin sqeeezin". That would be a nice way to publicly pay tribute to Mrs. D.
Please bear in mind that even Steve Perry can jack up a Journey serenade, as demonstrated by his a capella performance after the Sox won it all in 2005. Made me want to jam an ice pick in my ear.
Gia & peedee...when you are finished with Frank's shadow measuring project, please drink one for me. Congratulations for seeing your offspring to heathy adulthood; hopefully I'll be able to do the same (without serving any prison time on account of the spouse).
.....hope you remembered your toothbrush this time...and your hairbrush. Furry teefs and jacked up hair definately not good on a day like today.
Good Luck. Rock it.
10 years....well hell, its time to get off that boat, the king of pop is dead, and Mr Bunker could be too...let us pray, dear lord. if I could only find peace in this lifetime...etc.
OK,screw it, push him in front of a bus and call it a day
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