babysitting

When the police came today and nearly arrested Nick for child endangerment, and I did not immediately jump to his defense, it was the straw that broke the camel's back; he claimed to want to divorce me!! THE HORROR!! I do not live up to his every fantasy!
Yes, he really said it: "we're getting divorced. I'm moving out." In response I said, "pardon me, I couldn't hear you because the Angels were singing hallelujah to loud for me to hear you."
Anyway, he's since changed his mind. Sheeaat.

To review our family run-in with the law:
Nick decided to take 5 y/o N. to a job which consisted of putting a new roof on a downtown building. After a few neighbors got a glimpse of a little boy running around the non-fenced rooftop, they called the police and related that there was a child on a rooftop who was not being supervised. The police came and told Nick to keep N. off the roof. Nick said ok, and suggested that everyone needs to mind their own business (not always the best approach with the police).

One hour later the police were again called because N. was back on the roof . The police returned to find N. wandering alone and unsupervised through the alley. The cop had to climb up the ladder (which N. had apparently climbed down alone) to find Nick who had not yet figured out that N. had left the rooftop.
Always the diplomat, Nick & the officer begin a discussion resulting in Nick coming unhinged at the suggestion that the above may constitute a lack of appropriate judgment as it applies to parenting.

At that moment I arrived to pick N. up, because I thought he would be getting bored sitting in the storefront shop which is where he was supposed to be playing with his hotwheels . The police officer informed me of the situation, as well as her inclination to arrest Nick; this is when I'm supposed to start belting out "stand by your man" and show family solidarity...instead I threw him to the wolves, agreed that he was and asshole and that a 5 year old child should not be involved in a roofing project.

Nick stewed and sulked and drank and worked out a visitation schedule. Then he went to the police station to inform them that they were WAY out of line, and that he is probably one the very few parents in this world who is actually perfect. With that visit he managed to piss off every cop in the police station; he's just so clever, that man 'o mine.

So for almost 48 hours I felt like a lotto winner, only to have it pulled out from under me when he decided to start kissing my ass and talking about buying me things. DAMN. SO CLOSE.

Next to come: a visit from the DCFS. Due to that upcoming event I guess that I should not opt at this time to go into the woods with whiskey, smokes and a few cans of sardines, not to reemerge until I am visited by visions of an all wise shamen who can tell me how to get that asshole to go away. Maybe later.