A Little Good News About the Recession

Probably you're wondering what possible good news could exist in this entire epic financial clustertaxbooblation. Well, leave it to me friend. I can hone in on a nugget of happiness (of the schadenfreude variety) faster that a starving feral cat can disembowel a soft fluffy baby bunny.

So then, here it is, the good news:
Most of the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" are broke!
Yes, it comes as a shock. This includes the radiant natural beauty Kim Zolciak (above). I don't know which is worse, her behavior or the fact that a I know about it.

She's a wretched home wrecking bimbo who was engaged to her sugar daddy. He financed all her excesses in shopping, shit parenting, cellulite vacuuming, and wig wearing. One bit of a problem with their engagement was that her intended was already married, and when the wedding plans fell through she announced that it was OK, really because it turns out that she prefers the company of women over men after all. Particularly in that way. Fancy that!

Her utterly vain & vapid existence makes me feel deeply intellectual and introspective; I suppose that's why I like her. It did always piss me off though, that she had so much money to piss away. This even though she had to quit beauty school as she couldn't keep up with the academic portion because there was to0 much chemistry to learn (truth! season two).

Anyway, the party's over, and I guess she'll resume her walk of shame to her hostess job at TGI Friday's, and maybe even score a few day shifts at a gentleman's club. She'll surely have to start shopping at Payless Shoe Source instead of Neiman's, smoke some generic smokes, and even wear the same wig for more than one week. Perhaps she'll have to fire her nanny so that she may more directly ignore her children.

Hard times have fallen on others as well; specifically all those ridiculous punks who scored bogus marketing positions after dropping out of the Public Relations program or the Criminal Justice Associate's degree at the local community college. How was it that they were making so much money anyway?? I know that this is getting to be long and I'm fully embracing my embitterment, but how is it that there were so many 200K jobs to be had by people who's main accomplishment seemed to be mastery of a TiVo? My Garsh!

With the temporary restoration of a more proper earning order, I can look down my nose, sip daintily from my china teacup, gently pat my lips dry with a crisp linen napkin, put on airs of superiority, all while I continue to pay for unemployment benefits of indefinite duration. And haul around a certain deadbeat collecting "disability".

In keeping with this glut of glad tidings, behold my new shoes!
Probably liquidated from Kim Z's collection, these are made by Jil Sanders and sparkle a little bit. They are a tiny bit uncomfortable, but we must suffer for our art.


This second picture was taken by someone (no names here) on my payroll with instructions to photograph the shoes. THE SHOES. Are there shoes in the picture? This is digital photography. Where are the shoes?? Yes my skirt is hiked up to prevent shadows on the shoes. So inapproprite, I know. Despite the glaring lack of shoes, I have opted to include it out of pure vanity because it looks like I have some mean kankles in the first picture.