This is one hazmat situation which occurred when Mr. Bunker attempted to demonstrate his culinary prowess. It looks like the semi-digested stomach contents of a mother swine post slop hork-down. Or maybe something that would contain possum or perhaps even a freshly killed pigeon still containing the BBs that felled it.
I tell him to pack up and get out and he tries to win me back with this mess? If you think it looks bad from this view, just imagine cutting into it and finding big lumps of hot greasy baked avocado. If the thought doesn't make the back of your mouth taste like you just puked a tiny bit then you're a stronger person than I.
Also, lets don't overlook the recent passage of Mother's day, when as usual, I got a brand spankin' new vacuum cleaner. Naturally I've been so overwhelmed with excitement that I've been rendered mute for almost a month. So many attachments, so little time!
This sort of feels like having someone shit on your head without even buying you a drink. Not that I would know, all wild speculation of course.
So anyway, whip my marriage with your pimp cane and kick it out a high window onto the ho stroll, because this stinky old trick needs to be put out of it's misery.
Outside of that everything's GREAT!
12 comments:
Dear Mrs. Bunker,
Had I been served HazMat with Potato and Avocado Casserole I too would have been rendered speechless. I am not even sure I could have called for takeout. Do you think it also contained Fruit Pits and the slight soupcon of bitter almond? Beware, Mrs. Bunker!
I know not what fine impulse brings husbands to the conclusion that Appliances are the perfect Feminine Gift. There is only one appliance that fits this category, and they never think of that one.
As for the brand spankin' new, I am glad that all of it is working out!
You strut, Mrs. B!
Ann T.
Welcome Back Edith, and is it just a coincidence that your last post was 28 days ago? Or maybe its my Sandra Bullock obsession..
I do the vacuuming in MY household, otherwhise our hot Bosnian maid would have to, and I'd miss 30 minutes of listening to her sexy accent while she puts the dishes in the dishwasher...
I'm not usually one to give martial advice, but google "Claus von Bulow", but not from your own computer.
Frank
What a doofus! Appliances aren't gifts. Jewelry are gifts, vacations are gifts, cars are gifts. In fact I just bought a diamond necklace for the professor that will earn me un pipe. (It's French for Lewinsky)
Hope you rung his bell good when you kicked him out.
Ann T.: "Other Appliance"! brilliant. anything with any hint of almond is off my menu for the time being.
Frank: can't a girl have a little down time for "exhaustion treatment"??
never mind the interval. Tiger says to tell the sexpot housekeeper hi, by the way.
CJoe, what can I say? You're a gentleman and a scholar.
That Mother's Day present just sucks!
(Sorry, had to go there.)
Welcome back, Edith!
What a bastard. A Hoover. What a tool.
When I bought the Saint a vacuum for Valentines Day a few years back, I went all out. A Dyson Animal no less. Boy does that thing suck.
I can't bag on Arch too bad for the baked avocados though, my famous chili dogs don't present nearly as well.
Maybe you can get a few bucks for that Hoover on e-bay. Then you can use the cash to buy a new casserole dish, I think you old one is a goner. One less thing to fight over at the settlement hearing.
Thanks for the update.
Sounds like it is about time to take runner-boy-patient up on that little jog/date?
-SCRN
Thanks Linnn!
Captain, you are such a romantic! springin' for the Dyson, that's big. And good get on that casserole dish, you are correct, it's a goner.
SCRN: Now that I'm getting back into better shape I should be able to run him down. I'm not exactly sure what I'll do with him, but I can invest a bit of time thinking about that dilemma.
Mrs. B, Just be gentle, and try not to treat him as just a sex object... and yes, that means dinner and a movie first!
Heh.
-SCRN
Edith, omg he seriously served that? YUCK!!! And he allowed photos?
I hope beyond the humor you are doing ok. Remember I am here if you need me (not quite like the booty call runner boy would be, but a shoulder none the less!!)
Have a happy day!
Gia
Thank you Gia!
Well, he didn't actually allow the photography, I snuck that one. He was so impressed with himself and loved his own dish so much (disgusting) that he thinks he should send it to a cooking magazine. look out.
Don't feel bad. For Father's Day, once, though I'm not a father, I got a tie. A TIE, I tell you!
BZ
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