A Christmas Story

I truly have been neglectful of updating lately; this is largely because my new hobby removed me temporarily from the activities of daily life. Mr. Bunker drove me so @**%# crazy that I found solace only in watching SportsCenter. I opted to stay there with my sports-caster TV friends until I got sick of beer commercials & hearing about the kid locked in the shed. It was fun while it lasted, but now I'm all sobered up and ready to take on 2010, tumors, half wits, annoying husband, and all.

Mr. Bunker was off of work for the better part of December. This calamity allowed him time to erect the artwork below, which evokes in me the similar cringeful emotion experienced by the wife in "A Christmas Story" when her husband joyfully displayed the scandalous leg lamp above.

Archie took a month off of work because his back hurt SO MUCH that he couldn't drive around in his truck all day for his job. Of course he was unable to get his mountain of shit out of the garage due to this severe and disabling injury, however he somehow was able to muster the power to conceive of and compose (or shout at Jose and Hector while they composed) his 2x 4 opus which is the eyesore depicted below.
This is a 16 foot tall retarded looking plywood star located in my parkway. My kids make more appealing art out of Popsicle sticks and glitter even with some stay hairs thrown in. And Why?
....Because last year Archie got the church's cast-off 16 foot tree, which he put out front and trimmed in a style sparkly enough to make Carmella Soprano blush with it's glittering excess, and apparently EVERYONE who gazed upon it had some kind of epiphany (or possibly a seizure).

This year all those so profoundly touched by the great beauty of the tree were asking him what glory he would bestow upon the neighborhood this year. EVERYONE!! So you see, he felt duty-bound to present all these many souls with a suitable encore.

At some point when this project was under way, he proudly told me that he was going to create a giant star of David. I mentioned that that was kinda weird being that we're not Jewish, and he went away for a while, but apparently did not abandon the project entirely.
Would someone please come throw a match on this stupid thing??
Mr. Bunker thinks its a smashing success, because "people stop to look at it!"
So does the Bonehead not know that people also stop to look at train wrecks as well as many other types of disasters?

He did take a brief respite from his toils so he could get me my Christmas present. Or presents, depending upon whether a set of tires is considered plural or singular.

So anyway, happy New Year. This is the year that my frog will turn into a prince. I just know it!