Fuct

This is totally what I'm going to wear for my next wedding. Yes, I'll need to have some enhancements, but it will be well worth it if I can look this elegant. Of course, the groom will probably be some big ol' lezzie, but all the better right? Don't ever say I'm not one classy broad.

Last week I lost my fabulous iPhone, my ailing car did not get fixed, and my office manager went out of town for vacation. I should really just stay in bed because I don't know where the hell I'm supposed to be, and even if I did know I couldn't really get there, and if I did remember where I was supposed to be I couldn't call anyone and cancel because my phone is gone. I believe that this qualifies as being pretty fuct. See what I mean about just staying in bed? My car worked for a short time today and now it's making the same funny noise that generally leads to a burning smell which is usually a tip off that somethin' ain't right. Nick probably just doesn't want to fix it because he knows that I'll drive away and never come back.

We did go to visit a dear friend today who has not seen the kids for quite some time. N. flew right into high gear and happily showcased his wide range of abilities, including all the noises that he can make with his body. He tried to cuss at me when I put him in the penalty box, but thankfully the best he could do was call us all a bunch of booger eaters, I swear that kid is a poet sometimes.

Finally he settled down after being awarded the task of sharpening a box a pencils, this he found compelling because he got to use the automatic pencil sharpener which he did not even try to put his fingers or tongue into.

Nick was far to busy writing conspiracy theory letters and filing lawsuits to fix the broken belt on my car. He has actually hired someone to help him type his crazy ass letters because I ungraciously stepped down some time ago. He is sure that the last letter he sent out will cause the disbarment of our mayor,thereby providing a void into which he could step. "Mayor Nick". Holy mother of God. He'd probably want to put tin foil on the windows at city hall so the aliens couldn't tell the CIA what he's up to.