Of course the kids wanted to see the fireworks. The problem is, that although I too wanted to see the fireworks, I had no desire to enjoy them with the great unwashed masses crowding to the waterfront as they feast on giant turkey legs and salmonella flavored potato salad.
The perfect solution: a nice little catered event upstairs in FK's fancy ass office with lots-o big windows overlooking the whole sloppy mess.
The kids looked like mini homeless people, as they had spent most of the day with Nick, who's grooming habits are less than impeccable. Nick fortunately stayed home, which gave me a delightful evening just by the virtue of his absence.
It was all quite opulent, that is until we had to figure out how to get home. Eventually, when we figured that there would not be a helicopter coming to retrieve us, we ended up joining the teeming hoard and walked up the avenue homeward. It was quite a lot for the kids to take in, what with all the suburban teenage girls dressed up like little hookas and the real ho's vying for the suburban boys. Thank go we live in the city. I'd hate for my kids to have to mix with those raunchy kids from the burbs.
Also, a lot of really really BIG drunk people wearing crocks and fanny packs. Is there really anything more gay than a fanny pack? not so much the item itself, but the name. "Fanny pack". think about it. gay, gay gay. Action hero Mitch Rapp donned a fanny pack in one of the novels, and I expect in the next one he'll be wearing a feather boa. I've totally lost respect for him.
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- Edith Bunker
- I should have allowed my parents to arrange a marriage for me. I miss smoking cigarettes.
1 comment:
Not only is "fanny pack" just a horrible fashion statement to begin with, but let me be the first to remind you of the true hilarity of the "fanny" pack, which is really for our friends on the other side of the pond, since "fanny" is Brittish slang for the vagina.
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