Fairy Tale, True Love, etc.

Pay attention at the newsstand! The next issue of "Shit Parenting" magazine will contain a feature article about my soon to be ex lovah. The excitement about the forthcoming publication is nearly unbearable; I guess a little teaser is in order, so...
My shameless poor-excuse-for-a-hominid former mate has found the lowest-rent attorney in town; she's apparently hard-up for cash, and and even though they have about as much chemistry as Mr. Bunker and full time employment, they are gettin' ready to take this "rich doctor" down a notch. I'm sure they will continue to make a stunning pair until she figures out that he's got a major case of the crazies and that he is never ever going to pay her. He & this dollar tree advocate are really becoming about as irritating as a sandpaper thong during a long run on a hot day.

Here are a few things you might NOT want to do during a divorce as it may turn on you later in life when your sweet children morph into serial killers:

• Do not tell your children that mommy will probably be going to prison.
• Do not tell your 7 y/o son that his asthma meds are bad for him and are going to stunt his growth, just because your so fucking stupid you think steroids mean that he's going to sprout tits & menstruate.
• Do not bring your kids with you on your 10pm-on-a-school-night grocery store run because you ran out of beer.
• Do not tell your children that you're broke, and that Mommy has all the money when you call them during your European Vacation.
• If you wish to continue bragging about your daughter's stellar academic performance, try to understand that a science fair project takes more than an hour to complete (unless your hypothesis is that it takes your daddy roughly one hour to locate his ass after he is rotated 180 degrees in either direction).
• "Having a spare kidney" does not constitute a college savings plan.
  

I, of course, will continue to be polite, patient, and gracious as I do the stroll along the high road (high as in lofty elevation, not high as in stoned). I won't even make a crack about how retarded he sounds when he tells people that the "gloves are comin' on". See? Nary even a chuckle or smirk.